My one year old needs glasses. Here’s how I feel about it….

My one year old needs glasses. Here’s how I feel about it….

 

We just found out our one year old son needs glasses, here’s how I feel about it.

A little over a week ago, everything in our household felt so normal. Nothing struck us as out of the ordinary, as far as we knew, our kids were healthy and developing at the right pace.

On Christmas morning, we all woke up slightly tired, but super excited. Being a parent of small kids makes you enjoy Christmas morning all over again , like you did as a child. Bowie, our one year old boy was so excited when he woke up, he paced down the corridor, straight into the corner of our dining room table. He bumped the side of his head (please note, this is not something out of the ordinary, this happens frequently…. #️⃣ boylife)

Later on that day, we went to my in laws for Christmas lunch. I noticed Bowie went squint a couple of times, but, I thought it might have been him discovering his nose, as he was looking straight at it.
Later on that day, my motherly instinct told me something was off. I just felt it. I was afraid that the bump on his head affected his vision, so, we decided to take Bowie to the GP the following day.
The doctor took a look at him, and wasn’t too worried, she said that he could have some trauma due to the bump, and his eye is overcompensating for it… however, she suggested we go to the Hospital the next morning, and get him checked out by the paediatric optician ,which is what we did.

Daniel calmly strapped Bowie in the car and off they went to the hospital that next morning. We really just wanted to be safe and get him checked out. 3 hours after leaving for the hospital, I receive a call, and Daniel started by saying: “bad news”…. my heart just dropped. I knew what his next sentence was going to be. “He needs glasses”

For someone reading this blogpost who has not dealt with their young child needing glasses, they might think that this is no big deal… however, this was a big deal for me. I immediately started sobbing uncontrollably, in front of our four year old daughter (which is something I wish I didn’t have to do, but I couldn’t hold it in)
I felt so sad.

The reason I felt sad was for a whole range of reasons.
I felt sad that my son was bound to wear these glasses ALL THE TIME. I felt sad because I know how cruel kids can be, and when I was young, kids with glasses were bullied. I felt sad because I didn’t want his glasses to be an obstruction if he wanted to play sports, or play rough. I don’t want him to feel like an outsider. I don’t want the glasses to make him feel unhappy with his appearance when he is older. I felt sad knowing that these glasses would be something he needs to get used to at such a tender age, and how difficult the beginning phase will be when he needs to get used to them.

Once people found out about him needing glasses, the common thing everyone told me was “its okay, he’s happy and healthy” , “it could’ve been much worse” , “its not a big deal” and “ its not like it was when we were younger, glasses are cooler looking now and so many kids wear them”…… and yes, even though all of these statements are true, this was not how I felt. I probably should have looked at it from the positive side, which is… “ MY SON WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO SEE!!’
But, all I could think of was…. “I don’t want my son to be dealing with this, at all” ; “HE’S TOO YOUNG TO BE DEALING WITH THIS!!!”

This whole process felt like quite a lonely one.
I am no stranger to feeling lonely as a parent as I’m living in a different country, away from the support of my family, raising a 4 year old and twins. I have felt lonely many times before. However, this made me feel lonely in a completely different way. I felt helpless, I felt like I would rather be the one going through this, not him.
I was a ball of emotions for the first three days, I felt guilty for not thinking positively.

I finally realised, that it’s OKAY NOT TO FEEL POSITIVE about everything. The fact that he needed glasses was shocking to me. I needed time to process the information. Which is what I’ve done this past week. Right now, i’m feeling calmer about the situation. I’m definitely still not thrilled about it, but I have come to terms with it.

Bowie’s much happier throughout his day, the whining and frustration has definitely subsided (bad vision is a cause for headaches and frustrations he can’t verbalize).

I guess the reason I decided to write a blogpost about this topic, was to remind any mothers or fathers out there that parent guilt is real. Being a parent is hard, we face many obstacles, and I guess what is most important, is how you choose to deal with it. Take time to process situations, even though it’s hard, then take it head on.

I am adamant that Bowie will never feel like an outsider, I will raise my son with confidence, which I believe is the most important way to tackle this.

 



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